Meeting Your Virtual Friend In Real Life
If you told me two years ago that you were meeting new people online via a social network or webcam, I would think that either you were looking to get laid (which is what guys on myspace do from my understanding) or just didn’t have any friends of your own. With my old mentality, I found it weird that people would just initiate a conversation with people online because I simply didn’t get it.
This past year I have met some amazing people online. People who question Google’s branding efforts, people who refuse to watch the news, people telling me why drivers hate bikers, people who challenge my no work/life balance theory, people who work so hard that they crash on top of their laptops, and people who feel that social media is just as scary as intimacy. I have never personally met any of these people, but even though we have never made face-to-face contact, I can proudly call these people my friends.
To be perfectly honest, because of my entrepreneurial life style and social media immersion, I have been spending more time talking to my online friends and less time with my friends from back home or from UCLA. I never really thought there was much of a difference between the two groups until last night.
Last night I had my first experience of meeting someone online first and then meeting them in real life. Because you chat with this person online, you feel like you know them. My friend Violet and I have been chatting online through Twitter for a few months now, so we sometimes send quirky messages to each other. Here’s one where my cat says hi to her dog:
So it’s fun shooting short little messages to each other about what’s been up or about recent articles that you find interesting. Running into her last night at the Digital LA event made me realize how much I actually don’t know about my friends online. If you ask me things about my friends from back home or from UCLA, I could tell you intimate details about their likes, dislikes, mannerisms, or passions. I could tell you none of these things about Violet before last night. This of course makes sense, but it really didn’t hit me until last night. I guess I kind of forgot that face-to-face meetings are so much more personal and intimate than virtual chats or messages.
After last night, I have created two personal goals:
1. Personal Goal #1 is to find out more about my virtual friends. I spoke with Andy Drish online a couple of weeks ago and we really had a blast chatting it up through Skype. Violet and I had a blast as well over at the Roosevelt Hotel even though we only got a chance to chat for a few minutes. Take the time and think about all of these people that you have met online. Have you been building a relationship with them just to get another contact and promote your business, or are you actually making a new connection that you can care about and truly call your friend?
2. Personal Goal #2 is to spend some time with my friends from back home. These are the people that I have grown up with and truly know me best. Even though they’re not in the same industry or field that I am in, I should allocate some of my time to reconnect with them. Not every relationship has to have business benefits.
I think that’s what I truly was reminded of yesterday. I need to focus more of my efforts on building a true friendship rather than a business connection. So my lovely friends, you will be hearing a lot more from me in the coming weeks. Look forward to chatting with you all and finding out more about your lives 
Meeting online friends face to face is intimidating sometimes lol. I’ve flaked out on several SD Tweetup events because yours truly is *cough* really shy *cough*. I’m dragging a couple of co-workers to the next event so it’ll be fun to finally meet my online buddies.
Cheers,
Stephanie
Yea, it really can be a little intimidating. Good luck meeting up some people in san diego and I look forward to one day meeting you in person!
- Jun
Hey Jun,
Meeting online people offline has been a great accomplishment for me thus far. The biggest reason I attend conferences is to make connections real. It’s also something I have tried to do while studying where people are traveling to. I saw Penelope was here in Orlando for a few hours, so I yelled over to have lunch. I knew many of my music industry personnel were going to be at Atlantis in Atlanta, so I knocked down doors to get on their panel.
Making these relationships real, are not only good for personal relations, but business relations. I can call upon my new friends for help online and off, with promotions and with questions and anything in between
Maybe one of these days, plane tickets will cheapen up and I’ll get back to Cali to have lunch with your crew. Till then, see you on GChat!
Jun, thanks for the link to my site!
most importantly, I look forward to hopefully meeting you some day. i agree that although our relationship online is (almost) purely blog/info based - we could in fact be good friends in “real life” when it comes down to it. Friends are usually friends because they share something, or need things from eachother, making them mutually useful. We’re that - and you’re a pretty nice guy, too.
@greg i definitely see all of the great contacts that i have made as not just good friend, but good business relationships as well. The best part about joining the gen y blogging community is that all of us are motivated, productive, and have something valuable to offer one another. When you do get in Cali, hit me up
@torbjorn I agree with what you said. Friends do compliment and benefit from one another. Being a “virtual” friend doesn’t necessarily mean that we’re less than “real” friends. Writing online and sharing ones opinions makes me feel like we do know each other, maybe at a level that my friends from back home don’t understand. They don’t blog, so they don’t know the details about my life that I put up online.
Look forward to meeting up with you guys sometime.
- Jun