Comments on: How I know my girlfriend is The One I’m going to marry http://www.junloayza.com/relationships-and-sex/how-i-know-my-girlfriend-is-the-one-im-going-to-marry/ Become successful through sheer tenacity, drive, and working intelligently Wed, 08 Feb 2012 18:41:29 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.7 hourly 1 By: Jun Loayza http://www.junloayza.com/relationships-and-sex/how-i-know-my-girlfriend-is-the-one-im-going-to-marry/comment-page-2/#comment-117070 Jun Loayza Tue, 07 Feb 2012 23:46:46 +0000 http://www.junloayza.com/?p=832#comment-117070 Hey Dylan, My first relationship was when I was 16 - my girlfriend was 16 as well. We had a similar experience: we told each other "I love you", we talked about marriage, we chatted about how many kids we want, and a bunch of other stuff. We dated for 3 years. I made her a priority and unfortunately didn't do as well in school as I should have. At the end of the three years, we went to separate colleges so I broke it off. - If I could do it all over again, I would not have a longterm relationship in high school. Sure, it's good to have a girlfriend and experience it; however, you should both understand from the beginning that it's not something serious - as in not something that will lead to marriage. It's important to have fun, take care of each other, respect each other, and be supportive of what you guys want. Talk about marriage and kids is pointless. The girl you meet in high school will not be the girl you marry. Enjoy your freedom. During high school, you should be selfish and prepare yourself to do amazing things in the world: learn a new language, learn to code, find an internship, learn an artistic skill. During college, your goal is to explore and experience as many unique things as possible. It's possible to do all of this in a relationship, but it's extremely hard because she will always be holding you back in some way. - My sincere advice is to respect and take care of your current girlfriend; however, get it out of your mind that you're going to marry this girl. Do what you want right now, but always make sure that you're being product and improving yourself personally, mentally, and physically. If she makes you happy, then stay with her as long as you're happy. If she makes you unhappy, then it's time to break up. There's no point in dragging on an unhappy relationship. Good luck and let me know how it goes! Hey Dylan,

My first relationship was when I was 16 - my girlfriend was 16 as well.

We had a similar experience: we told each other “I love you”, we talked about marriage, we chatted about how many kids we want, and a bunch of other stuff.

We dated for 3 years. I made her a priority and unfortunately didn’t do as well in school as I should have.

At the end of the three years, we went to separate colleges so I broke it off.

-

If I could do it all over again, I would not have a longterm relationship in high school. Sure, it’s good to have a girlfriend and experience it; however, you should both understand from the beginning that it’s not something serious - as in not something that will lead to marriage.

It’s important to have fun, take care of each other, respect each other, and be supportive of what you guys want.

Talk about marriage and kids is pointless. The girl you meet in high school will not be the girl you marry.

Enjoy your freedom. During high school, you should be selfish and prepare yourself to do amazing things in the world: learn a new language, learn to code, find an internship, learn an artistic skill.

During college, your goal is to explore and experience as many unique things as possible. It’s possible to do all of this in a relationship, but it’s extremely hard because she will always be holding you back in some way.

-

My sincere advice is to respect and take care of your current girlfriend; however, get it out of your mind that you’re going to marry this girl.

Do what you want right now, but always make sure that you’re being product and improving yourself personally, mentally, and physically.

If she makes you happy, then stay with her as long as you’re happy.

If she makes you unhappy, then it’s time to break up. There’s no point in dragging on an unhappy relationship.

Good luck and let me know how it goes!

]]> By: dylan http://www.junloayza.com/relationships-and-sex/how-i-know-my-girlfriend-is-the-one-im-going-to-marry/comment-page-2/#comment-117064 dylan Tue, 07 Feb 2012 23:31:26 +0000 http://www.junloayza.com/?p=832#comment-117064 Hey just wanted some advice I'm a 16 year old boy and I have a girlfriend at 14. We have been in a relationship for nearly a year now. Our year anniversary is 19th of this month. Just I really feel scared sometimes, of the our future because we are young. We both talk about getting married and kids and we do love each other very much and I know you guys are talking about this is too young to be 'the one' but I genuinely think she is. We do have fights...some stupid ones and some reason because we care. I care. But I think it might be the stage in her life with periods and that. But she seems to get pissed off and is snappy sometimes, E.g. She said that she wanted to snuggle and kiss gok wan the gay fashion designer. I told her off saying that I didn't like it and she said calm down he's gay I don't swing that way and I have no chance. I didn't know what to make of it but she fell out with me the entire night because I told her I didn't like what she said... I mean I never mean to annoy her, I never do that and maybe I get on her a bit with the music she listens to but that's irrelevant. Plus she gets snappy as in...really dry texts. Texts boys with '<3' and 'd'awww'. And "Mr" she does flirt a bit...I know and doesn't bother me I trust her just I've explained this a few times to her and she says don't be daft I love you and wouldn't do that to you. Its natural for me to get protective over her and just say to her that she's mine...not as in property or social status but my girl. Also when I do these telling offs she always come back with...Christ I was just kiddin' Jeeso dylan am I not allowed to have friends. And I say yes! As many as you want but I don't want flirting with other guys. Cause I care about us. She hugged me and kissed me when I said this. Just were happy and we do have ups and downs...Mostly ups. Just I am concerned of the future. I wanna do everything I can to make sure we are still together and love each other. I know its hard work and I'm willing to do it, also I'm prepared for arguments and fights and changes and times where we are upset. Hey just wanted some advice I’m a 16 year old boy and I have a girlfriend at 14. We have been in a relationship for nearly a year now. Our year anniversary is 19th of this month. Just I really feel scared sometimes, of the our future because we are young. We both talk about getting married and kids and we do love each other very much and I know you guys are talking about this is too young to be ‘the one’ but I genuinely think she is. We do have fights…some stupid ones and some reason because we care. I care. But I think it might be the stage in her life with periods and that. But she seems to get pissed off and is snappy sometimes, E.g.
She said that she wanted to snuggle and kiss gok wan the gay fashion designer.
I told her off saying that I didn’t like it and she said calm down he’s gay I don’t swing that way and I have no chance.
I didn’t know what to make of it but she fell out with me the entire night because I told her I didn’t like what she said…
I mean I never mean to annoy her, I never do that and maybe I get on her a bit with the music she listens to but that’s irrelevant. Plus she gets snappy as in…really dry texts. Texts boys with ‘<3′ and ‘d’awww’. And “Mr” she does flirt a bit…I know and doesn’t bother me I trust her just I’ve explained this a few times to her and she says don’t be daft I love you and wouldn’t do that to you. Its natural for me to get protective over her and just say to her that she’s mine…not as in property or social status but my girl. Also when I do these telling offs she always come back with…Christ I was just kiddin’ Jeeso dylan am I not allowed to have friends.
And I say yes! As many as you want but I don’t want flirting with other guys. Cause I care about us. She hugged me and kissed me when I said this.
Just were happy and we do have ups and downs…Mostly ups.
Just I am concerned of the future. I wanna do everything I can to make sure we are still together and love each other. I know its hard work and I’m willing to do it, also I’m prepared for arguments and fights and changes and times where we are upset.

]]> By: seo http://www.junloayza.com/relationships-and-sex/how-i-know-my-girlfriend-is-the-one-im-going-to-marry/comment-page-2/#comment-115524 seo Tue, 31 Jan 2012 17:56:15 +0000 http://www.junloayza.com/?p=832#comment-115524 Howdy! This post could not be written any better! Reading through this post reminds me of my previous room mate! He always kept talking about this. I will forward this post to him. Pretty sure he will have a good read. Many thanks for sharing! Howdy! This post could not be written any better! Reading through this post reminds me of my previous room mate! He always kept talking about this. I will forward this post to him. Pretty sure he will have a good read. Many thanks for sharing!

]]> By: John http://www.junloayza.com/relationships-and-sex/how-i-know-my-girlfriend-is-the-one-im-going-to-marry/comment-page-1/#comment-92382 John Wed, 09 Nov 2011 19:47:44 +0000 http://www.junloayza.com/?p=832#comment-92382 I was at your stage once too, same feeling and opinions. Unfortuantly I quickly realized the truth and that women will change their man when they let their guard down while men will hope their women will never change. In other words, I started digging and learning more about women and ended up in more shock and realized what they are capable. As for "love", it is just a chemical reaction which is also why it fades away. But, good luck! I was at your stage once too, same feeling and opinions. Unfortuantly I quickly realized the truth and that women will change their man when they let their guard down while men will hope their women will never change. In other words, I started digging and learning more about women and ended up in more shock and realized what they are capable. As for “love”, it is just a chemical reaction which is also why it fades away.

But, good luck!

]]> By: Jun Loayza http://www.junloayza.com/relationships-and-sex/how-i-know-my-girlfriend-is-the-one-im-going-to-marry/comment-page-1/#comment-84685 Jun Loayza Fri, 07 Oct 2011 16:25:20 +0000 http://www.junloayza.com/?p=832#comment-84685 Terrific question! <strong>How can I know he is the one, if I’ve never dated anyone before?</strong> Knowing if someone is ‘the one’ is more a feeling than anything else. It’s a complete feeling of love and devotion - that you want to give this person everything you are and you trust that they’ll do the same for you. Knowing someone is ‘the one’ doesn’t usually come from comparisons - though comparisons do help. <strong>Sometimes I think that maybe this is how anybody feels when in a relationship, maybe I’d feel this way with any boy I would date? Maybe he’s not so special?</strong> I can guarantee you that you won’t feel like this with EVERYONE. However, I can guarantee you that there are people out there who you would feel very similar with. I have fallen in love 3 times in my life. The first time was with my first girlfriend - at the time, I thought I loved her so much and she was my everything. We were together for 4 years, until I finally realized that she was not the one. My second love was in college. We were so young, free spirited, and had an amazing 3-month relationship (3 months was all it took for me to know that I loved this girl). We had such a beautiful relationship and I learned so much from it. She introduced me to new types of music, art, and interesting people. Unfortunately, life circumstances did not allow us to continue our relationship - we’re still friends to this day. The feeling of “what if” will not go away. If you’re curious about other people right now, the curiosity will only increase later on in life. In my honest opinion, you need to explore the world and experience other people. Two of my closest friends have done this and say it’s the best thing they’ve done. They were in a 5-year relationship, hit 26, and realized they were each other’s first boyfriend and girlfriend. They didn’t want to go through life with the curiosity of wondering what it would be like with other people. They decided to mutually break up and experience life. If it’s meant to be, then they’ll get back together. Good luck!!! Let me know how things go Terrific question!

How can I know he is the one, if I’ve never dated anyone before?
Knowing if someone is ‘the one’ is more a feeling than anything else. It’s a complete feeling of love and devotion - that you want to give this person everything you are and you trust that they’ll do the same for you.

Knowing someone is ‘the one’ doesn’t usually come from comparisons - though comparisons do help.

Sometimes I think that maybe this is how anybody feels when in a relationship, maybe I’d feel this way with any boy I would date? Maybe he’s not so special?
I can guarantee you that you won’t feel like this with EVERYONE. However, I can guarantee you that there are people out there who you would feel very similar with.

I have fallen in love 3 times in my life. The first time was with my first girlfriend - at the time, I thought I loved her so much and she was my everything. We were together for 4 years, until I finally realized that she was not the one.

My second love was in college. We were so young, free spirited, and had an amazing 3-month relationship (3 months was all it took for me to know that I loved this girl). We had such a beautiful relationship and I learned so much from it. She introduced me to new types of music, art, and interesting people. Unfortunately, life circumstances did not allow us to continue our relationship - we’re still friends to this day.

The feeling of “what if” will not go away. If you’re curious about other people right now, the curiosity will only increase later on in life.

In my honest opinion, you need to explore the world and experience other people. Two of my closest friends have done this and say it’s the best thing they’ve done. They were in a 5-year relationship, hit 26, and realized they were each other’s first boyfriend and girlfriend. They didn’t want to go through life with the curiosity of wondering what it would be like with other people.

They decided to mutually break up and experience life. If it’s meant to be, then they’ll get back together.

Good luck!!! Let me know how things go

]]> By: Nicole http://www.junloayza.com/relationships-and-sex/how-i-know-my-girlfriend-is-the-one-im-going-to-marry/comment-page-1/#comment-84599 Nicole Fri, 07 Oct 2011 09:04:05 +0000 http://www.junloayza.com/?p=832#comment-84599 Hi Jun! Thank you so much for this article, I loved it! I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 2years now (and we've been living together for 1 year), and even if I know it's really too soon to worry about it, I'm still wondering if he's really the one. I know he's sure I'm the one... And I think he may be... We get into fights when needed (but it never lasts long), we trust each other, we tell each other everything, we're proud of each other... I'm really happy with him, I fell that everything is much better when he's with me, I love living with him and feeling him close to me when I fall asleep... But even if we're both 25, he's my first boyfriend. All my life, I've thought I wanted the first guy I would kiss to be my future husband... And now I'm wondering : how can I know he is the one, if I've never dated anyone before? I have no point of comparison, no way to tell "this is going the right way"... Sometimes I think that maybe this is how anybody feels when in a relationship, maybe I'd feel this way with any boy I would date? Maybe he's not so special? I love him, but how can I know I love him more than anybody else if I've never dated anyone else? Any piece of advice would be welcome! Hi Jun! Thank you so much for this article, I loved it! I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 2years now (and we’ve been living together for 1 year), and even if I know it’s really too soon to worry about it, I’m still wondering if he’s really the one. I know he’s sure I’m the one… And I think he may be… We get into fights when needed (but it never lasts long), we trust each other, we tell each other everything, we’re proud of each other… I’m really happy with him, I fell that everything is much better when he’s with me, I love living with him and feeling him close to me when I fall asleep… But even if we’re both 25, he’s my first boyfriend. All my life, I’ve thought I wanted the first guy I would kiss to be my future husband… And now I’m wondering : how can I know he is the one, if I’ve never dated anyone before? I have no point of comparison, no way to tell “this is going the right way”… Sometimes I think that maybe this is how anybody feels when in a relationship, maybe I’d feel this way with any boy I would date? Maybe he’s not so special? I love him, but how can I know I love him more than anybody else if I’ve never dated anyone else? Any piece of advice would be welcome!

]]> By: Jun Loayza http://www.junloayza.com/relationships-and-sex/how-i-know-my-girlfriend-is-the-one-im-going-to-marry/comment-page-1/#comment-81838 Jun Loayza Sun, 18 Sep 2011 19:25:43 +0000 http://www.junloayza.com/?p=832#comment-81838 Thanks so much! Kim and I are 26 now and still super happy! We just celebrated out 4th year anniversary. She's moving up to SF next month and we're getting out own place together for the first time. Exciting! Good luck with everything and I wish you nothing but the best. Thanks so much! Kim and I are 26 now and still super happy! We just celebrated out 4th year anniversary.

She’s moving up to SF next month and we’re getting out own place together for the first time.

Exciting!

Good luck with everything and I wish you nothing but the best.

]]> By: Cydney http://www.junloayza.com/relationships-and-sex/how-i-know-my-girlfriend-is-the-one-im-going-to-marry/comment-page-1/#comment-81767 Cydney Sun, 18 Sep 2011 05:06:43 +0000 http://www.junloayza.com/?p=832#comment-81767 I came across this article randomly. All I have to say is that I am so happy for you both. I constantly second guess wether my boyfriend is the one or not. I think we are both just too young to tell, and a lit of it is probably a fear thing. We live together and love eachother very much but agree that it's best to take it one day at a time. When it's right, it's right you know? But your post was very reassuring! We share all of the qualities listed =] I hope we, too grow to know, undoubtedly, that we will spend the rest of our lives together. I wish you and your lovely girlfriend (I'm assuming that's her in the picture) a wonderful life together! I came across this article randomly.

All I have to say is that I am so happy for you both. I constantly second guess wether my boyfriend is the one or not. I think we are both just too young to tell, and a lit of it is probably a fear thing. We live together and love eachother very much but agree that it’s best to take it one day at a time. When it’s right, it’s right you know?

But your post was very reassuring! We share all of the qualities listed =] I hope we, too grow to know, undoubtedly, that we will spend the rest of our lives together.

I wish you and your lovely girlfriend (I’m assuming that’s her in the picture) a wonderful life together!

]]> By: JunLoayza http://www.junloayza.com/relationships-and-sex/how-i-know-my-girlfriend-is-the-one-im-going-to-marry/comment-page-1/#comment-81577 JunLoayza Fri, 16 Sep 2011 17:49:33 +0000 http://www.junloayza.com/?p=832#comment-81577 MG, I believe you made the right decision. Ultimately, you need to do what's right for yourself. I know it can be hard to be selfish, especially if you care about the girl and want her to be happy. But if you're not truly happy, then you cannot be with this girl forever. You're young. Don't look for the one until you're at least 30. Have fun, meet new people, and don't worry about relationships. Keep me updated MG, I believe you made the right decision.

Ultimately, you need to do what’s right for yourself. I know it can be hard to be selfish, especially if you care about the girl and want her to be happy. But if you’re not truly happy, then you cannot be with this girl forever.

You’re young. Don’t look for the one until you’re at least 30. Have fun, meet new people, and don’t worry about relationships.

Keep me updated

]]> By: MG http://www.junloayza.com/relationships-and-sex/how-i-know-my-girlfriend-is-the-one-im-going-to-marry/comment-page-1/#comment-81566 MG Fri, 16 Sep 2011 16:19:20 +0000 http://www.junloayza.com/?p=832#comment-81566 I came across your article and it helped me alot - I'm 27 and just got out of a long-term relationship - I broke it off but was constantly second guessing myself - especially bc she was the first girl I ever even "thought" about marriage in my mind. The truth is I led her on and I feel guilty about blindsiding her, but there were clear indications while we were together that she wasn't the one. 1.I did have a "girl on the side" that I would have fun with, she knew I had a gf but I wouldn't even mention it- it was like I wanted to be single towards her. 2. We never fought- I would talk about issues that bothered me a little bit but in a matter-of-fact way, as if it didn't matter to me that much if she got the idea or not. 3. I definitely could not talk proudly at all about her career. She was cute and had a nice personality, so I would show her off to some people, but in the end I think I was doing more complaining than being proud. I think it was still a close call, because she did have some redeeming qualities, but in the end I think I was lacking "true love" for her and even though I feel like I miss her, she is now with someone who hopefully loves her more completely, and I can be patient and wait for someone that really fits what you described. I came across your article and it helped me alot - I’m 27 and just got out of a long-term relationship - I broke it off but was constantly second guessing myself - especially bc she was the first girl I ever even “thought” about marriage in my mind. The truth is I led her on and I feel guilty about blindsiding her, but there were clear indications while we were together that she wasn’t the one.

1.I did have a “girl on the side” that I would have fun with, she knew I had a gf but I wouldn’t even mention it- it was like I wanted to be single towards her.

2. We never fought- I would talk about issues that bothered me a little bit but in a matter-of-fact way, as if it didn’t matter to me that much if she got the idea or not.

3. I definitely could not talk proudly at all about her career. She was cute and had a nice personality, so I would show her off to some people, but in the end I think I was doing more complaining than being proud.

I think it was still a close call, because she did have some redeeming qualities, but in the end I think I was lacking “true love” for her and even though I feel like I miss her, she is now with someone who hopefully loves her more completely, and I can be patient and wait for someone that really fits what you described.

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