Young Successful Entrepreneur

Did I write this post?

I feel the exact same way you do and my thoughts are exactly inline with yours.

Actually, I think if I would have had a mentor I would be 25 steps backwards on where I am today. For 20 something years I have had amazing parents, friends, and coaches tell me the path that lie ahead. Is that where I am at? Nope. All of them told me what awaits, what I ‘needed’ to do, and where I ‘had’ to go, yet that is not where I am, who I am, or what I have done. My boss at work 6 months ago told me ‘you have a lot to learn son’ and yes, yes I do, but 6 months later I sit with him planning a new go to market strategy… Lesson: We all have a lot to learn.

Like yourself Jun, I fought the urge to be content with the lifestyle I was told to lead and if I had listened to the ‘mentors’ I would still be in Illinois probably working at Caterpillar trying to climb some ladder that didn’t really exist. I would be sitting at a computer knocking out a checklist of one specific job all day.

I could have had all of that lifestyle if I would have listened to what you described as a mentor. But now, all of those mentors call me and say the same thing, ‘wow you are up to some amazing shit. I wish I would have done that stuff.’

While I listen to that comment on repeat in my life lately, I always have the same thought.

It is exciting, humbling, and gets me all stoked to wake up everyday, but the only reason I am where I am today is because I didn’t listen to the people who you would describe as a mentor. I could see the path no one else saw and that my friend is why I like teammates and not mentors. I know they all are/were trying to help but it is those small comments that can kill dreams, vision, and stop most people in their tracks from doing what they truly believe. Mentors, though not even realizing it, probably kill more dreams/visions than they create. They provide security and mitigate risks because that is usually the path they have lead (at least in my life.) Bad? Not at all. Just what most know.

Awesome post Jun and I stop, think, reflect, smile, and say thanks so much for running alongside me in the recent months. If you ever need a teammate in this game then you let me know because you have been here for me already on a number of occasions. Here for ya.

-Shane

“I personally view a mentor as someone older and more experienced who takes the time to personally give guidance, advice, and takes an emotional investment in your success. A mentor is someone who follows up with you with an email or phone call to ask how your venture went, or who is able to meet up with you once a month to offer advice via coffee.” I think that sounds more like a coach than a mentor. I think a mentor is just a specific person (be it older or younger) who has walked the path you are walking now and whom you can turn to for advice but does not necessarily have an emotional investment in your success or who will follow up with you. He’s just willing to help whenever you call or email. Personally, I’d prefer to have a mentor.

I love friends who are able to give good advice as well. I’ve had a few friends who gave me a lot of good advice when I was a newbie real estate agent. They have helped me a lot and I’m grateful for that. So it’s always great to have someone to turn to for advice.

Cheers~

Mark

Hey Jun,

I think you have some strong points about surrounding yourself with some smart people that you can call friends and working WITH them to create something awesome.

Something that I have learned is that having mentors in specialized fields are what can take you in that field from a 3 to a 6,7,8+ relatively quickly.

If anyone is looking for one person to do everything in every aspect for them, I think they are off base. If you are looking for one person who has totally kicked ass in one aspect (real estate investment, franchising, going through in IPO, etc) then you can really rock out and avoid costly mistakes.

But I do agree that I learn from all the people around me. And while I don’t plan on completely reinventing the wheel, I do plan on at least looking at how their wheel was invented.

I hear what you’re saying about not wanting to be lead or even restricted by a mentor, and I completely agree that there’s no experience like your own experience.

But what about a mentor who challenges you to think differently or bigger? Someone who opens and broadens rather than closes and narrows?

To me, that’s part of what a great mentor does.

You know, I never even thought about having a mentor till recently. It just seems rather lazy to have one. Have someone else just tell you what to do. Where’s the challenge right? But then again, like you Jun, I’ve got amazing friends. Every step of the way, for each different part of my life, friends who in hindsight are mentors to me - just that I never labeled them such.

Again, it would be nice to say that I did it all on my own, but no I didn’t, and to give credit where credit is due, I owe a lot to my friends who were there for me either physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.

So yes, I do agree with you.

That said, I do have a mentor now (in my office we all get to choose a mentor) and having one is also great! I get such personalized attention, spot on advice, follow ups and there is always a person i can go to if I need help (this mentor is for non-personal life stuff obviously).

But again, the only difference between my friends and my mentor (who also happens to be a good friend) is that, with the official mentor, there is the title ‘official’ mentor and he is obligated to mentor me…

So I think this word, mentor is very much an ego game. It feels important having one or important not having one. Whichever serves it best

Jun,

I think you’ve hit on some really important points here. I was just thinking the other day about how at some point there is a diminishing return on taking advice from experts and people who know more than you do. That being said, I think it’s always important to surround yourself with people who know about things that you don’t (which clearly you have done).

I think a mentor can be beneficial if it’s the right mentor. I can understand why you feel the way you do if you asked two people and they both didn’t say yes or no. In my own experience, I’ve never had a mentor. I’ve gone through the process of life/careers, etc with trial and error. What’s interesting is that I think you’d actually learn more from being a mentor than you would from having one.

I personally do not have a mentor, but some people have mentors, and that’s fine by me.

In a way, the world is our mentor. =)

I would say, mentor is a luxury word for me, I use role model to describe some people who have great impact on me.

Maybe that’s because I choose a way which is diffenent from many people. So that I don’t learn much from my friends and people around me.

For some reason, I have attracted many people along the way in various areas of my life to act as my mentors. However, it’s not a formal relationship in anyway. It’s pretty casual. In fact, I think I’m the only one who actually calls them “mentors”. As Vincent mentioned above, they’re really role models in whatever particular area you look up to them for.

I’m a big believer in having others take ownership in your success. And, usually, it turns out to be someone you look up to, and has given you much advice. I find that I latch on to successful people in the area at that point in time that I’m focused on.

So, I wouldn’t say you need a mentor per say and that one should actually outright ask someone to be their mentor. However, if you can attract successful people that you look up to who can provide advice and guidance whenever you need it, then you’ve essentially got a mentor. There is no need to define it. Just got with it.

Jun - You have written an insightful article and there are some great comments here. At one point in my life I had thought in terms of mentors - only to be disappointed. There is no such thing as a perfect person or a person who knows everything, so a mentor in the traditional sense will ultimately disappoint.

What I do believe in is surrounding myself with subject matter experts. For example, there is one member of my team who has a very strong background in finance and venture capital. Although I serve as the President of my company he will attend meetings and client engagements requiring those particular skill sets. In these situations I ultimately defer to him for decisions in those subject matters - assuming of course they are in alignment with the overall vision and strategy of the business.

I believe that these subject matter experts can be older or younger - for example I am a thirty-something Gen X, however there are many younger twenty-something Gen Y types out there who are much smarter in technology areas than myself. In general when seeking advise I tend to look more at the competence and pedigree of the individual rather than age.

Great article!

You know Jun, you really made me think on this one. I don’t think we need a mentor anymore. I use to think I needed a mentor but now I don’t. As you said it, when you need something you go to your friends and vice-versa.

I use to think a mentor could help me fail less, because maybe he would stop me from making a mistake that he made. But the more I read and learn from others successes it sound like the ones that are the biggest failures are the most rewarded. If these people would have had mentors they might have prevented them from their biggest successes.

So lastly I just have to say I don’t need a mentor either, I’ve never really had one so probably will never have I am 24 and being a bit of an introvert don’t see myself having one soon. But I do want to friends that know more than me and that I can trade my skills with them if they need them.

Interesting topic and ideas, personally I never had a long term mentor, mostly because I have never lived in the same place for more than 10 months after I left high school. But I alaways tried to find some one to guide me. In Washington it was my boss who turned out to be a very good guider not only in my work position there, but also about things around; what do study, what to do next etc. Here in Brussels, my “mentor” has been more of a coach, giving me tools and courage to take chances and develop my brand more, and she also handed me a few connections. I think that the mentoring relationship they have given me, will slowly fade after leaving, and go on to be a more equal relationship. Still, I would never hestitate to ask for their more adivce. So even though, they are not continuisly guiding me, I still consider their help and support to be the same of a mentor. But in the end it is up to me, thus, “trial and error.”

HI, Jun

I really like your “living the startup life” video, can’t believe that I watched all of it in 2 days time. When is season 2 coming out? Gonna recommend to my friends.

I think finding the right expertise for the field is more valuable than finding a one-size-fits-all personal guru.

Hey Jun!

Interesting perspectives. The internet has brought so many of together with different areas of expertise, it’s probably true that you don’t need a mentor as much as in the earlier days.

That said, I hope you do find that one ultimate sensei in business life that you can latch on to and help clear the path that much easier. Maybe it’s that veteran venture captalist whose helped guide many start ups, I’m not sure. But having that one fella to help you knock down barriers is huge.

You know that saying, “If I knew then, what I know now.”? Well, folks usually say that after they’ve made a mistake. Hence, might as well ask those folks, mentors or not how they experienced the situation, and what they’d do so you don’t do it.

Hope all is well!

Best,

Sam

Interesting post Jun. I think successful entrepreneurs can definitely benefit from the experience of others but there is also no substitute for learning from your own mistakes and working out how not to make the same ones next time.

I think that we learn in two ways:

1.) Through our own successes and failures, and
2.) Through the successes and failures of others.

You don’t need a mentor in the strict sense of the term but I think it’s important to learn from others.

Hi Jun,

I related to what you said here because I’ve always been in the same boat. On the one hand, going it alone is very valuable because you blaze your own trail; and, as a result, learn to solve problems that other people can’t. But, as I get a bit older, I also realise there is far more to learn about far too many things to do everything on your own. It would be really valuable to have access to people who have been down those roads before. If not “mentors”, then at least a supportive peer group.

Cheers,
Lach