Comments on: Sex is overrated

By: Ryan

Ryan — Fri, 02 Dec 2011 22:42:23 +0000

Hi, I live in London and got married last year. My wife is an understanding and affectionate person and I live her very much. We do not have any children yet (and we plan to wait some years). I think the strength of our relationship is that we both have our own lives and we live a varied life and generally avoid stress, which means out personal issues do not cause rifts in our relationship, since we have opportunities to do things in our lives that we both want and need.
I think the basis of this relationship and the love we feel for each other is strengthened because of the sex. A good sex life is eseential to a person’s overall happines, especially if it is an expression of your love for another person. If it helps you feel emotionally secure, it can help you be more productive. Everyone needs emotional support, love and someone to talk to and share sexually intimate moments with. If your life has all that, you can do anything!!! Even if you have a bad, stressful day, a bit of loving can out you back on the right track. I think instead of pursuing people for casual sex really does affect your productivity. I never enjoy that because I need to know who I am having sex with and what it means to have sex with that person. I think porn is the biggest waste of time. People use it to jerk off but you only experience visual stimulation. Sensory stimulation is never present because it involves touching, your partner and getting a reaponse from them through your actions. That is what keeps you turned on, but in porn, all that is missing. Porn can ge addictive and take a lot of your time, but it never provides anything other than the opportunity to spectate.
Going on chatlines is as bad. Many people get paid to lure men to pay them for.’sex chats’ but everything is done to please you, and they will do anything for money. It gives men the illusion of sexual power over women, yet in reality those women are the ones taking money and if they were not getting paid, you would not have any chance to impress them.
Chat lines took so much of a friend’s time, that he never did anythong when he was home. He was depressed in his boring job, and when he got home, he spent time having sexy text chats, but the problem is that a lot of guys are on there loking for titilation and many even register as females becauae my friend told me sometimes they revealed that later. This kind of activity is a waste of time because you end up having meaningless communication with strangers, many of them bored, unloved and.unfckable, pretending they are someone they are not. You lost time for doing something important if you get too addicted to these things. I think the key to a productive and happy life is working fewer hours, indulging in your passions, and being with a partner who is has their own life and brings joy into your life by sharing it with you.

By: Herbys

Herbys — Sat, 06 Jun 2009 09:05:22 +0000

I agree completely with your post.
I would put it more simply though:
Do not dedicate a large amount of time in your life to things that do not enrich you.

Gaming an enrich you, up to a very limited point. Listening music can enrich you, unless you spend your whole days listening. Watching a football game can be enriching while you learn something, but memorizing whole games will not.
And sex, sex will enrich you if it fortifies a relationship, if it leaves you with something good other than a short term pleasure feeling. Otherwise, you are wasting your time on something that won’t make you happier, better or more fulfilled.

By: Bush: "Retarded Cowboy" | Become a young successful entrepreneur and live the startup life

Wed, 04 Mar 2009 07:54:39 +0000

[...] is very admirable. Secondly, I personally don’t understand how a man can choose to not have sex until marriage. To me, it’s like seriously repressing your natural instincts and going against [...]

By: Jun Loayza

Jun Loayza — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 16:51:59 +0000

@Sean Conway - It’s what I try to do Sean. If I can inspire you to look at life in a different way, and thus your life becomes happier, then I have accomplished my goal.

By: Sean Conway

Sean Conway — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 11:13:05 +0000

Great post…got me thinking, meaning you did your job

By: Jun Loayza

Jun Loayza — Sun, 01 Mar 2009 10:24:53 +0000

Thank you Yukai, I’m glad you understand the meat of my post. A meaningful relationship is essential in having a meaningful life.

Your argument comparing getting the perfect career and getting the perfect relationship is awesome! I couldn’t have put it better myself.

Do you remember how I used to be back in my 3rd year? I’ve come a long way thanks to you!

By: Yu-kai Chou

Yu-kai Chou — Sun, 01 Mar 2009 08:47:31 +0000

Hey Jun,

I just revisited this post, and it is pretty awesome. The first time I saw it, I was distracted by the title and it prevented me from digesting the actual gem in the content. This time it became a great reminder!

As for all the folks who are leaving comments, I don’t think there is a “flaw” to Jun’s argument. Yes, finding that perfect person might not be easy, and the timing matters a lot, but that has nothing to with the logic but the feasibility of something. Jun’s argument is that having the perfect relationship is better than chasing girls left and right, not that it is easy.

If one says “get a job, and you will get a salary,” it wouldn’t make sense if someone responds, “You have a logical flaw because getting a job is hard and sometimes the market timing needs to be right.” Jun is awesome, like Kittens wearing pants.

By: In Appreciation of My Favorite YE Bloggers | Adam McFarland's Blog - Musings of a Balding 26 Year Old Entrepreneur

Fri, 13 Feb 2009 20:17:31 +0000

[...] or no matter how much it reveals about the ups and downs of his company. A few of my favorites: Sex is overrated, I don’t need a work/life balance, How my startup team almost killed each other, and 5 [...]

By: A.J.

A.J. — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 03:39:03 +0000

Aha! I can finally leave my original comment:

“Sex is like oxygen. You only appreciate it when you’re not getting any.”

By: Tony

Tony — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 03:10:32 +0000

Hey Jun - I agree with you on all points except for the last one with one caveat. While I agree that a perfect long term relationship will leave a person happy and fulfilled in the long run, it has to be taken up at the right time in one’s life. I believe once someone has achieved what they want to achieve with their life in terms of career success than a relationship should be pursued. As we all know, a relationship requires a regular time investment to nurture and grow. The time requirement however, will take away from other pursuits in one’s life, such as career success. On the other hand, it’s possible to have both because Rob Kiyosaki mentions his wife several times in his books as he grew his business. He and his wife shared the same goals of starting and growing a business though so it worked out. Not all girls are like Rob Kiyosaki’s wife though so it’s important to remember that sometimes a long term relationship may require sacrifices of one’s time and that sacrifice may include giving up part of one’s time in his or her pursuit of career success.