Young Successful Entrepreneur

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The fear of rejection is the second fear that an entrepreneur must overcome.

You have to know how to accept rejection and reject acceptance

Ray Bradbury, (1920 - ), advice to writers

Rejection can come in many forms: the rejection letter from a university, the “No” from the girl of your dreams who won’t go out with you, the rejection letter from employers, the denial of funding from a VC, or the rejection of your product by your target market.

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I took a break before writing this post because I was feeling a sort of anxiety of my own.  I have been working feverishly hard for the past month in hopes of building my online presence.  I feel that I have somewhat succeeded, and have achieved my goal of writing for Mashable 3 weeks after I set it.  My good friend Nisha even when out of her way to send me the nicest email congratulating me on my efforts this month.  She is awesome.

So I’m sitting here in my room getting ready to write a complete tutorial for companies about how to leverage social media to build their brands and generate more revenues.  I’m sitting here with this daunting task in front of me and decide to take a break to write this post.

Even though I feel that I am confident, I am scared that businesses will reject my idea.  This fear is like a mental block that is preventing me from focusing and writing down my complete tutorial.  This fear creeps up in my head and says, “Hey Jun, businesses won’t buy your product.  Don’t waste your time; focus your energy on something else.”

Rejection is tough to beat my friends.

A similar type of fear has recently filled my friend.  She is a student at top-tier school and completely dislikes her current major. She’s currently contemplating switching majors over to business, one of the hardest majors to get into at her university, and the fear of rejection has paralyzed her from taking any action.  “What if I apply and I don’t get in?  I will have wasted all my time and I don’t think I can take that kind of rejection.”  Her fear is understandable and honest.

The fear of rejection paralyzes.

And you know where you see that paralysis most often? When meeting a new person.  Whether it’s a networking event or a gorgeous girl (or guy), it is difficult to leave your comfort zone to go talk to that person.

What if this happens?  What if that happens?  You can ALWAYS find a “what if” moment.  You can always think of some excuse for not executing on a dream or goal.  Are you going to let this stand in your way?

No. You will not let this stop you as long as I am here to kick you in the butt.  Here are 4 core reasons why you should slap Rejection right in the face and tell him to come if he dares:

1. Understand that everyone has been rejected

Larry and Sergey tried to sell the Google engine for $1M but failed to do so.  They were rejected, felt defeated, and proceeded to make their own company.  Just think about that situation.  What if they had felt so defeated that they just went paralyzed and decided to do nothing with their company. They slapped Rejection right in the face.

2. The harmless dragon

Meeting someone new is like meeting a “harmless dragon.”

You see someone noteworthy at an event and you really want to meet him.  You hesitate because you don’t measure up to her social status and don’t want to look stupid in front of her and her friends.  But if you truly think about it, what’s the worst that can happen.

Worst case scenario is that you introduce yourself to this person, she acts like a total dick, brushes you off, and you walk away feeling like a loser.  Best case scenario is you guys hit it off, she invites you to meet all of her friends, and you suddenly make some big name connections.

From a scale of 1-10, 10 being your life has suddenly been changed forever and 1 being your life is exactly the same, the worst case scenario gives you a possible 3 while the best case scenario gives you a possible 7 or 8.  The advantage is completely on the side of acting and risk being rejected.

3. Do it now.  Act, don’t think

The longer you think about it, the more you’re going to hesitate and the less likely you will act.  I am currently living by this new rule: if I have a new idea, I will think about it for a maximum of 1 hour (depending on the situation).  If I still want to do it after I thoroughly thought about it, then I will charge immediately forward.

Now, if this is a setting where I see a person I want to meet, I wait a maximum of 3 seconds before approaching the person.  If I keep staring for longer than 3 seconds without acting, then I look like a stalker, the fear of rejection rises, and I end up not acting.

4. Failure is worse than rejection

Yes, you could try to get into that prestigious university, and you may get rejected.  You could try to talk to that beautiful girl (or guy) and she may reject you.  Rejection you can learn from; failure to act makes you a complete waste of life.  Inactivity and inaction guarantees that you fail, while getting rejected means that you learned a new lesson.

I’ll be perfectly honest, I am still intensely scared of rejection when I walk up to a girl to try and strike up a random conversation.  The longer I hesitate, the more nervous I get and the more I picture her telling me to “drop dead.”  I do it anyways because if I don’t do it, I will be a total loser and suck at life (Yes, I really do yell at myself in my head, “Jun, you better do this or you will be a life sucker”).

Whether I get her number or not is NOT the point.  The point is having the courage and attitude to go outside of my comfort zone and go after something/someone I want.

Companies can reject my product; the business school can reject my friend.  But if we don’t at least try, we will have guaranteed failure.  I will try my hardest to produce a product that companies will pay money to learn from.  If I succeed, then I will be making some good money and will be able to fund my future products.  If they reject me, then I will have learned a valuable lesson and learned how to NOT sell and build a product.